Identity and hunger pains

I missed yesterday’s Blog Every Day in May, but I’m working on something special and want to get it right, so I’ll post it when I feel it’s ready.

Today’s prompt: If you couldn’t answer with your job, how would you answer the question ‘what do you do’?waterOh, if I only had 400 pages to write about this one. I might have to come back to it sometime. My energy levels are low, low, low, low (sung like shorty got low low low low) due to some juice cleanse idea we had. My fingers feel tortured just having to type these few words.

For the last year and half, I’ve had to deal with this question since I held no full time job. I struggled a lot with my identity. I was no longer a grad student working her tail off to get good grades and maintain a social life. I moved away from a community I had called home for almost 8 years. I was in a new place, with new people and no job. Who was I?

It’s funny how we Westerners introduce people by their profession.

“Oh this is my friend Ruby, she’s a pharmacist.”

“Do you know Austin? He’s an engineer.”

“Nice to meet you, Katelyn. What do you do?”

Our culture has somehow taught us that our main identity is found in what we do and not who we are. So I’ve spent a year and a half, unemployed, re-teaching myself that my worth is not born between the hours of 9 to 5.meSo I choose to answer this question with ‘who am I?’ instead of ‘what do I do?’

I am a twenty-something trying to navigate these magical years. I wake up each morning hoping to love others well because I am loved perfectly. I’m learning to live each day with intention, and I guess that’s all I can ask of myself. I try to be kind to everybody but finish every day feeling I could have been kinder. I make stupid jokes but also make really good jokes. I laugh. I write. I eat. I nap. I analyze. I’m confident in some areas and insecure in others. I’ve learned a lot about myself over the past year and a half. I’ve started over in some areas and and consciously grown in others. I hope to be a life-long learner and an everyday giver. I make mistakes every day. I’m grateful. Apart from any other person or any profession, that is who I am.

This post goes against everything I usually shoot for on this blog. It’s not thought through, unedited, maybe off topic and probably full of typos and incomplete thoughts, which makes me sad because this is an area I care a lot about. I know myself. I’ll wake up tomorrow thinking why didn’t I say this or that. But I’ve got to go to bed. I’m hungry.

One more thing that makes me who I am…making babies cry. cry copy


One thought on “Identity and hunger pains

  1. Pingback: May Reflections | love in lufkin

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