May Reflections

may copyDear Blog Every Day in May,

You were so hard. I loved you. And I hated you. When I first decided to take part in the challenge, I assumed everyone would stop reading my blog out of annoyance of my every day posting. Whoa, hello opposite day! So many people went out of their way to tell me how much they enjoyed what I was doing, so many thanks to them for the encouragement!

Blogging every day turned out to be a challenge in more ways than one. The obvious was finding the creativity, time and energy to write an actual post every 24 hours that I felt proud to publish. Some days it just didn’t happen, but I managed to get it out the next day…or the next. There’s still two topics I’m waiting to write- “Letting go” and “A letter to your readers.” You forced me to expand my writing process. Usually thoughts come to me, I think for a few days, I write, come back to it, edit, come back and publish. You didn’t give me that luxury, and it helped me grow. While there were some nights I dreaded pushing publish because I felt rushed and knew it wasn’t my best work, you forced me to practice sitting down, take on a topic and do the best I could in limited time. Sometimes I felt inadequate and other times I beat myself up for not getting a post out on time, but you helped me improve in areas that my own self discipline doesn’t always dictate, and for anything that helps develop my writing, I am grateful.

Toward the end of the month, you got a little heavy for me. Posts like this and that were quite frankly unpleasant. My thoughts wouldn’t turn off. Instead of stopping at my top 3 worst traits, my mind spent the next few days focusing on all of my bad characteristics. Constantly thinking of new ones. It got ugly in there. And then this post, wow, I’m still recovering. Since then I’ve thought of every single topic I want to publicly rant about but can’t. With Walker’s ministerial position and my own desire for harmony and positivity, I got frustrated with the idea that I’m not really allowed to rant. But in the end, I’m beyond happy to have that accountability. I’d rather not be known for ranting, offending or in some cases being downright annoying. Let’s be clear though, there is a difference in ranting verses raising awareness and speaking up for something worthy.

You forced me to push myself and open up, to lean into vulnerability and to meditate on topics I normally wouldn’t. You made me remember back, applaud others, fine tune my creativity and look past perfection. I loved linking up and seeing what other bloggers were saying about your crazy topics. You were hard and sometimes draining, but I’m actually going to miss you. I’m hoping you’ve encouraged me to write more, expand my subject areas and express myself without the need for perfection every time. So, thanks Blog Every Day in May, I hope we meet again! Just not in June.

Goodbye May. Hello Summer.

Love, Katelyn

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